Couples
by neveragain77
Summary: Bailey's view on the pairings of interns and attendings all characters included
1. Mistress

Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all nope its truly sad

A/N: I know I'm procrastinating on my other story but this came to me in a dream literally. I would like to give most of the credit for the nicknames to Christina Yang

I for one am absolutely tired of the whole interns with attendings its really starting to bug me. First we have/had (I'm not sure at this point) Dark and Twisty and McDreamy. They started out well, ok so finding out that your one night stand is your boss on Day 1 of your internship isn't "well" but whatever. Some people knew including me (remember the fogged up car windows during Barbie's party, which she didn't even show up to, I saw way to much of both of them then I ever wanted to see), Barbie, and Bambi we were pretty pissed when we first found out but then Barbie had some revelation about how Dark and Twisty loves McDreamy blah blah blah. Then big surprise here the only thing perfect about him is his hair because next thing we know Satan (that ones from Derek) comes with her Gucci shoes and handbags saying she's his wife. Opps! Then he goes as far as to choose Satan over Dark and Twisty subsequently making her even more 'dark and twisty'. There were a couple moments while he was with his wife the made everyone realize he still loves Dark and Twisty including: the closet crying, bomb incident, the whole McVet ordeal. Then prom rolled around (I was forced to go) and we all know what happened there. Next stop, Dark and Twisty has appendicitis. If that didn't suck enough Cristina had to practically yell asking Dark and Twisty if she was pregnant. My interns are so dumb. I thought the best part of that day was Dark and Twisty on morphine. After that McDreamy left Satan for Dark and Twisty. Coming up on your right we have the 'I think my Dark and Twisty tried to commit suicide.' See I was walking by the nurse's station trying to figure out where all my interns are (people are dying and their sitting around talking about God only knows or cares what) and I heard McDreamy tell a certain someone about how his Dark and Twisty practically drowned her self in the bathtub. Finally Dark and Twisty's mom died after Dark and Twisty almost died at the ferry boat accident. McDreamy pulled her out and she swears it was and accident but I don't believe he believes her. So theres the first and the most annoying couple in SGH.

Next: Burke and Christina review please oh and if anyone has good nicknames for Christina then run them by me I'm drawing a complete blank


	2. Karma

A/N: don't really have much to say except sorry I haven't updated sooner and when I put things in ( ) it's still Bailey talking just to let you know

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything

First of all let me clear this issue up, I know every move of every person in this hospital. Every little secret they keep in their meaningless little locker room, Got it? Now back to business. Crack-Whore (Alex's nickname) and Burke (hey he has at least a chance of becoming chief so no nickname for him). They started out right after the nurse who used to work here died. Then we saw it all unravel faster then a burrito from Taco-Bell. (I love Taco-Bell it was one of my pregnancy cravings) I just want to say this couple seriously freaks me out. I mean their both very… driven (not what I wanted to say). So anyway Burke like totally broke Crack-Whore's heart in Barbie's language after he broke up with her, which, was around the time she found out she was pregnant. Then she went to lean on her "person" (who in God's name would pick Dark and Twisty for their person!). Well a little birdie told me that she was considering ok she was planning on getting an abortion but here at SGH karma sucks so what happened she collapsed in the middle of one of Burke's surgery. I guess karma really hates her because she lost the baby. Then the got back together and were all happy doing whatever people like them do (make me gag). But karma came around to get a better shot at them literally. Burke got shot yep by some crazy lunatic whose momma probably didn't love him enough (cry me a river). Then karma came back around (third times a charm) and gave Burke a shake in his hand which he should have told the chief about but nope and Crack-Whore didn't either. (Which was one of the dumbest things my intern has ever done ok not true but I'll get to that later) Eventually mighty Crack-Whore cracked (I've been waiting for that forever) and told the chief. What really pissed me of is the Crack-Whore and Burke might have well put the bodies of his patients in a car with Dark and Twisty after McDreamy dumped her and they get off without a scratch on them while Barbie was trying to save Dying Heart patient (Alex's again) and she gets probation. Then again I guess karma agreed with me because it threw Colin Marlow in Crack-Whore's lap literally. Colin Marlow is another cardiothoracic surgeon who was her professor and we all know how Crack-Whore loves cardio surgeons. Anyway that broke off Crack-Whore and Burke's engagement. Oh I forgot to mention that (now that is the dumbest thing my intern ever did). I have to go Crack-Whore is talking about her "be kind rewind" theory and I don't want to miss that. So there you have it the second most annoying couple in SGH.

A/N: Ok this wasn't my best chapter but it was like 2 in the morning the next one will get better I promise.


	3. Oppisites

Ok first of all im sorry its taken me so long to update I was having major writers block on my next couple and so I just continued to procrastinate. Oh yea I don't own anything at all nada. So here we go again…

This next couple has to be the stupidest couple who ever graced (I use this term very loosely) the Halls of Seattle Grace – Barbie and McSteamy. Ok so you know how sometimes your walking through the mall or at a stop light and you see those couples who physically look perfect for eachother and you start to smile then they each say something and your smile automatically turns to a disgusted frown. Well this is how I see that couple. I lik…lik…I certainly don't hate Barbie. She may get way to emotionally involved with her patients and she has a tendency to be extremely stubborn but she has a huge heart and she's an amzing surgeon. So how in the heck does a girl like that fall for an arrogant man like McSteamy. Now aside from the hair and the body he doesn't seem like the kind of guy you want to spend the rest of your life with. It all started when she was on his service, she refused to do any of his daily chores he liked to dump on the intern of the day. There were moments where I would catch a glance between them but I never thought a thing of it. Everything was pretty quiet until Barbie's whole I've-decided-to-join-the-dirty-mistress-club mishap and the infamous Evil Spawn/Satan hookup. That's when everything hit the fan. Now they act like the sickening early relationship of McDreamy and Dark and Twisty with all the lovey dovey touching. Fortunately for all the dying people in this hospital who need to take the elevator they haven't picked up that annoying relationship with the emergency stop button. Izzie has officially made it to her second trimester and even though I'm positive it will be impossibly beautiful its definitely going to need therapy. With all their problems and their mentally messed up friends I'm going to be the only sane one but I sure that the love for it will overpower the problems. Who am I kidding this kids screwed!

A/N: So I'm not sure if I really like this couple nothing has really developed in the show for these two so I'm improvising. Go head press that button down there.


	4. Hell

A/N: Wow I've been gone a really,really, really, really long time. So I'll shut my mouth and get on with the story. I still own nothing althoughthat lawyer was suppose to call me back yesterday.

Satan or Ruler of all things Evil as she perfers to be called, has ruled the men with an iron fist since she got here. I mean think about it she had McDreamy than had McSteamy while having McDreamy than only McSteamy than nobody than McDreamy than McSteamy again and now Evil Spawn. That is way to many "thans" for one freaking woman. Atleast Meredith has a whole drink, bed, run thing going for her. So let's face the facts: Satan is a slut. But we also have to consider she got that long-leg, stilletto thing going for her so it's not hard to wonder why all these men keep throwing themselves at her feet. And yea I think she's hot every freaking person in this hospital thinks she is so don't get all giggly with the "Bailey thinks Satans hot thing" or I swear to God... On to Evil Spawn, he is her other half. They will rule hell together for an enternity. To put him in a nutshell I only need one word: Manwhore. Seriously. (O Lord, I just used the word "seriously" they have corrupted me already) But I do have to admit he has beat the odds. He even survived after calling Dark and Twisty "a nurse" that's a feat. So it would be wrong of me to say that I wasn't alittle worried when they started dating, I mean everyone saw what happened after Barbie got with that patient...why don't we have a nickname for him that's not fair we even had one for that McVet guy... I was somewhat worried that she was going to squash him like a bug with those pointy shoes she insists on wearing. Turns out they really are good for each other, in the 'I won't be such a jerk and you won't be so cold-hearted way, atleast their not going at it in the hallway like some people I know, I'm talking to you Barbie don't feign innocence with me. Speaking of them I should probably get going, since their reception started five minutes ago.

A/N: So there it is not a relationshipy as I wanted it to be but this is how it turned out and I'm okay with that. Review please.


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